Tobacco Avenue once again has crucial news out of Shockoe Bottom:

Shocking wait staff and patrons alike with his unbelievable gall, 18-month-old Cameron Smith had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at Lulu’s – LuLu’s, for Christ’s sake – despite the Shockoe Bottom restaurant’s well-regarded menu of culinary delights.

In announcing Martin Agency’s #3 spot in Advertising Age magazine’s 2008 ranking, Tobacco Avenue gives it a spin in Martin Agency receives award; 942nd so far this year:

Trade publications consistently rank Martin as one of the best agencies in America, along with such distinctions as having the second-most comfortable sofa in a U.S. lobby, No. 4 most hottest graphic designers in the nation and having the third most-bounciest ping-pong balls on a table tennis set located in the northern hemisphere.

Tobacco Avenue rolls back through Shockoe, this time with a visit to Velvet:

“Co-owners of the Velvet nightclub said yesterday that there is nothing in life they appreciate more than driving their Hummers, watching young women take off clothes for money and researching the history of Diana, Princess of Wales – whose mural is plastered across their Main Street-facing brick wall. [...] To help greet the city’s visitors at Main and 15th streets, the men also commissioned a depth perception-handicapped artist to paint a picture of their favorite princess on the side of the gentleman’s club.”

New RVA satire blog Tobacco Avenue has the scoop in Tiki Bob’s Cantina move to “add Skee-Ball, guy in oversized mouse costume”. From the post:

“Bikini night is a lot of fun, like, I love bringing Cindy down here and she be shakin’ her thang an’ whatnot, know what I saying?” frequent Tiki’s customer Kyle Fredericks said of the bar’s revamping. The 21-year-old hails from Charles City County and is a self-employed chemist, mixing substances such as Vick’s nasal inhaler, drain cleaner and rubbing alcohol and selling his concoctions for $100 to $120 per gram, depending on market price. “Get my drink on, shorty, fuggin’, Soldier Boy ya’ heard.”